Morality of Blood Magic
by Nixton
Summary: A debate between Alistair and Neria Surana becomes heated when Alistair says something stupid. Oneshot. Alistair x Surana.


We had set up camp for the night, everyone falling into what was by now routine activities. Sten was standing around, as stoic as ever. He's always so quite and creepy. Sometimes I watch him and I swear, my hand to the Maker, for fifteen minutes he just stared ahead, not blinking once. It was creepy.

Shale was standing at the edge of camp, keeping…it's? Or is it hers? I'll go with her, don't want to end up a bloody stain on the ground. Shale was keeping her eyes to the sky, watching warily. I've tried to explain to her that there are hardly any birds active at night besides owls, and they wouldn't come over here into the light. She wasn't convinced.

Alistair was over by me at the fire doing the most frightening thing I could imagine; cooking. Maker, every time it's his turn for cooking duty I use my magic to make my tongue completely numb, and no matter how much I rinse my mouth out with water afterwards when I return the feeling I have a horrible aftertaste. At least it's more bearable than the initial taste.

Oghren was, as usual, over by his tent drinking himself stupid. Where he manages to get all the liquor is beyond me. We do occasionally stop by towns and villages for supplies, but I never see him purchase anywhere near the amount he tends to drink. I wonder if he brews it himself. I asked him once but he was in a drunken stupor and was spouting nonsense.

Leliana and Morrigan had headed down to the nearby river to bathe. Leliana asked me if I wanted to join but I declined. I really wasn't all that dirty, besides I saw Zevran sneak off in that direction earlier. Knowing him he probably found himself a nice cozy place to watch them and I wasn't about to give that assassin a free show.

Wynne was over by her tent working with some elfroot making more poultices for use to use. It's a good thing she's such a talented healer or we would have been done for on several occasions. Sure I know magic but I've never been to keen on the whole healing magic thing.

My mabari Ravage, yeah I know an idiotic name but I thought it sounded fearsome, was over by Alistair and me, growling at the, what I imagine, foul smelling pot he was using for cooking. Thankfully I was up wind from him, even if only by a little bit, and his abomination of food.

I was staring into the fire, lost in thought. We had only recently left the Solders Peak a couple of days ago. We made a stop there on the way to Haven from Denerim. We had been looking for brother Genativi and learned he was there. I decided to make a detour to there to help out Levi Dryden. I intended on keeping Duncans promise. Anyway encountering that blood mage Avernus got me thinking again. The same thoughts were swirling through my head when we were at the Circle Tower, when I saw Jowan in Redcliff and then again when he was helping those refuges.

"Neria?" Alistair asked, holding a bowl out in front of me.

"Huh you say something?" I look up at him, escaping from my thoughts, brushing my brunette hair out of my face and behind my pointy ear. I really should start putting it up in a ponytail or bun or something.

"Nope, that was Ravage here. Seems he's got quite the talent for speech." He jests with a smile as I took the bowl from him.

"Well I guess that makes you the lest coherent speaker of us all now." I smile, before taking a sip of the…substance, for I dare not call it food. My eyes open wide and I nearly gag. I forgot to numb my tongue. Alistair just laughs away. I dump the slop back into the pot as I wipe my watering eyes. "For Andrastes sake Alistair, that is the worst food you have cooked yet! If Ravage could cook he would do ten times better than this!"

He just grins widely. "I'm sure if you taught him he would." He takes another bite of the slop.

"How can you stand to eat that?" I ask, dumbfounded at how easily he slurps that slop down.

"Years of practice my dear lady, years of practice." He laughs.

I look down and notice some of that liquefied torture had spilled onto my robes. "Ah great, now my robes are going to stain." I grab my staff and knock Alistair upside the head with it.

"Hey, what was that for?" He rubs his head.

"It's your fault my robes are ruined now." I say with playful anger, crossing my arms with a smirk.

"O ho, so I was the one who spilt my special slop stew on you?" He retorts playfully himself.

"No, but it was you who conjured up that stuff. Tastes like you used the flesh of a demon to make it." I grab my water skin, draining all of it into my mouth trying to get that horrid taste out of it.

He laughs some more. "Now don't go around giving my cooking secrets away, other wise I may no longer be the best."

I swing my staff at him again and this time he dodges. "I wouldn't dare let others know how to make that stuff. It could very well kill somebody."

I glare at him, narrowing my eyes. He just sits there, grinning. I crack a smile and start laughing, Alistair joining me. Our laughter dies down and we sit there in silence for a few moments before Alistair breaks it.

"So tell me, what's wrong?" He asks, curiosity in his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play stupid, that's my job." I laugh a little. "You were staring at the fire for at least half an hour. Leliana and Morrigan returned with Zevran trailing, sporting a lovely hand sized red mark on his cheek I might add. Usually you would have exchanged some lewd comments with that assassin before getting Leliana started on another one of her talking sprees. Instead, you just sat there like a statue, staring into the fire. Now tell me, what's on your mind?"

I lean forward, resting my chin in my hands. My thoughts really aren't something that Alistair would understand. The thing on my mind is something that everyone here has a strong opinion on. Alistair, being raised by the Chantry and trained as a Templar would find my questioning of this to be ridiculous and believe that the answer is obvious.

"Hello? Neria? Anybody home?" He starts knocking on my head with his hand.

"Sorry, zoned out again." I shake my head, keeping myself in reality.

"If you don't want to talk about it I understand." He starts to get up but stops with I grab his arm.

"No, it's alright, I need to talk this out with someone." He nods and sits back down. I swallow, already knowing what Alistair's response will be. But maybe talking with him about my doubts will help clarify things. "I've been thinking, ever since we ran into Jowan at Redcliff and again when he was with those refuges, when we were at the Circle Tower, and even more since Avernius at Solder's Peak."

Alistair waits silently for me to continue. I sigh, still knowing how things are going to turn out. "I've been thinking, wondering really, about what really makes blood magic so wrong."

It's silent for a moment before Alistair bursts out laughing. That is exactly how I thought he'd react. "That's what has you distracted? I thought it was something far more troubling, like Brother Genativi or the Urn or maybe how to keep Zevran from trying to seduce you."

"Uhg, I knew all you would do is laugh at me. I shouldn't have said anything." I stand up and this time he grabs my arm.

"Wait, I'm sorry I laughed it's just that I didn't expect you of all people to say such a thing." I reluctantly sit back down, bringing my knees up, wrapping my hands around my legs, and resting my chin on my knees. "Could you maybe explain what you mean?"

I glance over at the handsome idiot, who was now sitting next to me. "Blood magic. I've been thinking, why is it that blood magic is considered wrong?"

"That's easy." Alistair starts. "It's wrong because it is evil. It's blood magic that takes over and corrupts the minds of innocents, not to mention the fact that it is used to summon demons from the fade and requires life energy just to use."

"Yes, blood magic can do those things, but only if the one wielding it wants it to do those things. Just because it has the potential to do those things don't mean that it is used only for those things. I mean, somebody wielding blood magic could use it to help people."

"Help people?" Alistair says in disbelief. Here comes the part where he starts reprimanding me. "How could something that takes the very life energy of people be used to help people? Have you already forgotten what Avernius did to his fellow Wardens in his pursuit of learning more blood magic? And what about what Uldred did to the Circle with his blood magic to gain power?"

I let my legs down and look at him. "No, I have not forgotten about them, but I have also not forgotten about Jowan. He had no malicious intent when he learned blood magic, and since he's escaped from the circle he's been using his abilities to help out refuges. He's been protecting them and leading them to safety, regardless of the fact that he knows this 'evil art'."

I could tell Alistair was getting annoyed. "You don't know what he is doing. He could be using those refuges to fuel his evil magic. This safe location could very well be some hideaway he has to do his magic. And if you remember it was him that poisoned the Arl in the first place. Blood magic is evil, and so is he for not only knowing it but for running from the circle."

I was shocked, and it showed on my face. I started to get angry, how dare he so blatantly insult him. "How dare you!" I yell, poking his chest with my finger. "Jowan is not evil. He was the best friend I had when I was in the Circle Tower, when I was still an apprentice. When I was there I even thought I was falling for him…" A tear rolls down my cheek. I hadn't thought about those feelings I had for him since we helped him with those refuges three months back, on our way to Orzammar from the Brecilian Forest.

Alistair must have regretted saying Jowan was evil cause I could see it on his face. "And yeah, he ran from the Circle, but that was to avoid becoming tranquil and so he could be with that…that girl I resented ever since he told me about her! But I helped him escape because not only did I…did I care for him but I too wanted to get out of that glorified prison!" Tears had started to roll down my cheeks, and I was standing over him, my voice angry and hurt.

"And you have the gull to call him evil just because he knows blood magic. Tell me Alistair, would you consider me to be evil if I knew blood magic?" I had my fists clenched, electricity dancing around them. Alistair just sat there, his mouth agape, his beautiful eyes shinning, and his lovely hair afire in the firelight, his handsome face glowing. "Well, would you think me evil for knowing blood magic?"

He stands up, grasping my hands, receiving a jolt from the electricity swirling around them, but doesn't let go. He looks into my tear filled eyes. "Of course not, I could never think you evil. You are the kindest, most caring person I know."

I throw his hands off of mine and turn my back to him. "Then how could you call Jowan evil just for knowing blood magic? How could you think he should be condemned just for knowing it? Should a man be arrested for possessing a sword just because he has the potential for murder? Should a woman be arrested for having a knife just because of the potential that she could cut someone's purse and steal their money?"

I could feel Alistair grab my shoulders caringly. "Those things are different, those are created by man. But blood magic comes from the demons of the fade. Being a blood mage just makes it that much easier to become an abomination."

I spin and look up into Alistairs eyes. "Then why, why would you say that I'm not evil if I knew it but Jowan is because he knows it? Huh? Are you that much of a hypocrite?" Alistair tried to say something but I push him out of the way and run to my tent, laying a glyph of repulsion at the entrance. I lay down on my bedroll crying. Stupid jerk. Stupid handsome cute funny jerk. How could he say such things about him just for knowing that? And how could he say he could never think me evil even if I know the 'evil' art of blood magic?

I hear the voices of the others outside, Leliana and Wynne's voices sound scolding, Zevran's is his usual suave tone, and Morrigan's sounds sarcastic, probably calling him an idiot. He is an idiot. He's a charming, good-for-nothing, handsome idiot…so why do I keep on thinking of him with positive attributes? Why am I thinking of this, I should be angry at him for insulting Jowan and for so blatantly dismissing my arguments of blood magic.

The whispering of Leliana and Alistair is right outside my tent. "Go on, ask her if you can come in." Leliana says.

"She has a glyph up, that's doesn't exactly say 'I want visitors'." Alistair responds with his dry humor. Makes me smile a little.

"If you won't ask to be let in I'll gladly go in to 'comfort' her." Zevran says. "We all know I'm much more 'experienced' at it than a certain templar." I can hear the lewd smile in his voice.

"You-you most certainly will not!" Alistair says, no doubt flustered, followed by Leliana's giggle.

"Then go get her lover boy." Leliana says. I hear Alistair stumble forward, most likely because Leliana must have pushed him. I decide to lift the glyph and let him in. He stumbles in, falling flat on his face, probably expecting to be repelled away. I giggle at seeing the stupid look on his handsome face.

He looks at me with his goofy face and sits up. "Uh, hi." He says sheepishly. He's probably expecting me to yell at him to get out or shoot some electricity at him.

I sit up, my back turned to him, my arms and legs crossed. "You know, it's not polite to just barge into a woman's tent." I say, trying to avoid putting any emotion in my voice. "You never know when she may be decent or not."

"It-it wasn't my fault, Leliana pushed me and I lost my balance and stumbled." I could hear how flustered he was. I'm sure his face was bright red.

"You interrupted my meditation, what do you want?" I don't want to turn and look at him, if I'm looking at him I'm sure I won't be able to resist forgiving him for being such a good looking jerk.

It's silent for a few moments. I bet he's trying to think of the best way to apologize without sounding like the loveable jerk he is…No likeable! I meant to say likeable…I could feel my face flush up some. He's just a friend, and not a very good one if he insults Jowan right to my face. Although he is cute, funny, charming, I'm sure it was just a case of foot in mouth.

"I wanted to apologize, about earlier." He starts, awkwardly. "I shouldn't have said those things about Jowan. I knew about how you used to feel for him, you told me yourself before, and yet I still said those horrible things about him." I could tell he was being sincere. "I guess I haven't gotten over the fact that he tried to kill the Arl."

"He really didn't have a choice, not to mention that he was led to believe he was doing a good thing." I snap at him. Stupid, stupid jerk, why can't he understand that?

I could sense him shrinking away. "I-I realize that, but I still…resent that he did it." He responds slowly. It seems like he's trying to carefully choose his words so as not to get me angry again. He's so sweet, always thinking of others…No, he's not sweet he's a jerk. Maker, why do I keep having these thoughts these…these feelings for him.

"I'm sorry." He continues. "It was wrong of me to call Jowan-"

"Don't you say his name, you have no right." I cut him off, trying to force anger into my voice but failing.

He swallows some air. "It was wrong of me to call…him evil just for knowing blood magic. You made some good points as to the…morality of using blood magic," You mean I actually managed to get through his thick skull? "But," I should have known better. "I still have my own beliefs on the subject, even if they have shifted a little from your words." We're both silent for several moments.

"I'm still mad at you." I lie, my cracking voice betraying me.

"I know." He simple states. I hear him shifting and standing up. "That's why I want to give you something." He's trying to buy my forgiveness with a gift? It won't be that simple…but then why is my heart racing? It's not like giving a gift is anything unusual, I mean I've given everyone in our group a gift.

I gave Leliana an Andraste's grace because it was the flower that her mother smelled like.

I gave Sten a painting because he likes those for some reason.

Wynne I gave that book titled…something, I don't really remember. I think it had something to do with Orlais.

I gave Shale that remarkable diamond, cause she likes those shinny stones.

Oghren was easy, give him an ale and he's happy.

For Morrigan I gave here that golden mirror because it reminded me of the one she described to me that one time.

Zevran I gave a pair of Dalish gloves, just like the ones his mom used to have.

Ravage, give him a lamb bone and he's overjoyed.

I've even given Alistair his mother's amulet I found while we were at Redcliff.

But wait, none of them have ever given me a gift in return. I guess they thought I was just being a friendly person, which I was.

"Well, what is it?" I ask the stupid jerk in my tent, my heart pounding in my ears.

"If you would stand up and look at me I'd show it to you."

I begin to stand up unconsiously. No! Stop rising! Don't stand up and give into his ploy! I'm standing up completely. Don't turn around and look at him. Don't turn around and look at him. Don't turn around and look at him. I begin to turn. No, stop it! Don't look at this handsome jerk, his apology was pathetic, he didn't even concede to the argument, he still thinks blood magic is wrong…but he did admit Jowan isn't evil. No, no, no! You're supposed to be mad…at…him. I look at him, staring into his eyes.

"Here, do you know what this is?" He says, holding up a rose. Is he serious? A rose is how he's trying to win me over? Like I don't know what a rose is. But it is such a beautiful rose and such a sweet gesture. No, do not give in, he needs to be punished for the insults that he's already apologized for.

"Is that a trick question?" I ask, forcibly crossing my arms, trying to keep the charade of anger up. I've already forgiven him, but I can't let him know that he can be forgiven so easily. He would just get full of himself, crack some jokes, make me laugh, make me happy…Maybe even make me lov-No, no, no, no, no! That is not what is happening here.

"Yes, absolutely, I'm trying to trick you. Is it working?" He jests.

Maker's breath he knows how to make me laugh. But no, must suppress laughter. Success, laughter suppressed and fake scowl is visible. The game is on, your move my love…I mean cutey…No I meant handsome…Gah!

He coughs nervously. Good, he's unaware of my inner turmoil. "Sorry."

I grab the rose from his hand, keeping my eyes on it. "Ok, it's a rose, is this your idea of a gift?" I say softly, no longer able to keep the facade of anger.

"Yes, well, I thought you might like it." He says as softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Girls like gifts like this, don't they?"

"Some do." I respond. I'm one of those girls who do.

"I picked it when we were in Lothering." Lothering? He's been holding onto that flower since we went through Lothering? That was eight-nine months back, when we first started on this quest to stop this blasted Blight. "I remember seeing it and thinking 'how could something so beautiful exist surrounded by so much darkness and despair'. I just couldn't leave it there or it would have been destroyed by the Darkspawns taint." His voice was gentle, sincere. It made me want to cry for being such a jerk to him for being a jerk to me.

"Why…Why are you telling me this?" I manage to say, my voice cracking up, my heart speeding up, a tear rolling down my face. He raises his hand and wipes away the tear, resting it on my cheek.

"Because, whenever I see you smile or hear you laughing, concentrating on your spells when we're fighting Darkspawn, or even yelling at some handsome jerk for insulting someone you care for," A small chuckle rumbles in my throat and a small smile spreads on my lips, "I think the same thing about you." He smiles himself. "I'm sorry, for making you angry earlier, I was completely out of line. And I wanted to make it up to you by giving you that rose," He gently lifts my face so that I'm looking into his beautiful, jerky eyes. "and to tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you to find amidst all this… darkness." He smiles his intoxicating smile. "So, do you forgive me?"

I close my eyes. I could feel my heart lift, butterflies in my stomach, tears of joy streaming down my cheeks. Beautiful. He thinks I'm beautiful and wonderful. I-I can't deny it; fight it anymore. I open my eyes to see the most adorable look of worry on his face.

"Wait, please don't cry Neria." He says panicky. "Was it, was it something I said? I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry again. Please stop cr-" I surprise him, stop him from talking by leaning up and pressing my lips against his, wrapping my arms around his neck. I lean back after the very brief, but very effective, kiss. His face turns bright red and I giggle at his reaction. "I-I guess that's my answer." I let go and take a step back, fitting the rose behind my pointy ear grinning widely.

"Thank you Alistair. It's a lovely gift, from a lovely guy."

"Your welcome." He says, his blush dying down some. "Now that that's out of the way how about we skip this awkward embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits?"

Ah, did he seriously just ask me for sex not two minutes after I have forgiven him? No, he's joking again. I grin devilishly. Let's embarrass Alistair even more. "Sounds good to me." I begin untying the belt of my robes and I could see the deep shade of red his face went. He begins laughing with a very cute nervous laugh.

"Heh, heh, bluff called. Damn she saw right through me."

I begin retracting an arm though a sleeve. "If it's a bluff then you better get out of here, unless you want to watch me get undressed." I say seductively. He gulps, obviously even more nervous.

"Uh, right, I'll just be going then." As he is raising up the tent flap, I decide to lay down a new glyph of repulsion, which sends him flying right out of the tent, landing flat on his face. Leliana, Zevran, and Oghren all started laughing as the handsome jerk raised his head, spitting and sputtering. He looks back at me through the tent opening, and I mouth 'good night you cute jerk.' He just gets a goofy smile on his face, which was as red as the rose in my pointy ear.

I still have feelings for a certain blood mage whose name I can't think of at the moment, but I have even stronger feelings for a certain cute, funny, handsome, charming, shy, jerk of a templar.


End file.
